A Special Message to Kids ...

First off... we're not "shot doctors." In fact, we're not even doctors; we're counselors. So ... don't worry. You're not going to get poked, stuck or stand around in your underwear. We're just gonna talk.

What do you think of when someone, particularly your parents, mention going to counseling? An old guy in a suit peering at you from behind a huge desk asking you embarrassing questions? A ex-hippie lady wearing a peasant dress and too many beads who talks to you like you're a baby? Or the ex-prison guard type who acts like you're some kind of disease and tells your parents you're spoiled and they just need to get tough with you? I'd be lying to you if I told you that didn't happen some places.

Here you're just a person and, like most people, you've got feelings and thoughts all your own. Sometimes you know exactly why you feel and act the way you do; sometimes you don't. If your parents are considering counseling, they must think there's a problem. In lots of families the parents think the kid is the problem while, of course, the kid think it's the parents. What I know is ... you're not the problem. The problem is the problem. And it's my job to figure out what the problem is and help the whole family do something about it.

So ... what's counseling like? Sometimes it's like sitting down with a friend ... one who doesn't take sides or make judgments  ... and discussing what's really going on so we can figure out what everybody can do differently. Sometimes we might spend time in the playroom, well ... playing. Or the art room drawing, painting and making messes nobody can yell at us about. Other times it'll be just you and me ... you talking; me listening mostly. (Yeah, adults really can  listen!)

Are you worried about how much of what you tell me I might tell your parents? I usually ask parents not to ask me or you what you and I talk about. Most parents agree. Ask yours if they would. Of course, I will tell them if I think something awful might happen, like you're going to hurt yourself or are doing something that could have consequences you might not be able to handle on your own. But not without telling you first.

Have you been or are you being abused? State law says I have to report that. Otherwise, you can tell me almost anything else that's on your mind and it will stay just between us ... unless you give me permission to tell someone else. I'll never go behind your back about anything if I can help it. Your trust is that important thing to me.

Oh, by the way. Did you know that if you're 16 or older, Texas State law allows a child to get counseling without their parents' consent? Of course, it's a lot better if you do get their permission but, if you really need to talk to someone about your problems and your parents won't take you, you can call any mental health professional and make an appointment ... especially if you're worried you might do something harmful to yourself or someone else. OK?